"No" or "Not yet"?

My husband and I have found ourselves in a state of transition.  Faithfully, we believe in God's plan for our lives even though we aren't sure what we are transitioning to.  We are struggling with major decisions dealing with where we should live or move to, the church we should attend and use as an outlet to serve Him and even questioning our careers.  This has all seemed to come about at the same time, leaving so many open doors.  We continually pray for His plan for our lives to be evident and for His guidance in the decisions we make to fulfill His plan.

Over the past 2 months I have grown quite impatient.

This "transition" time has lasted a little too long for me.  I have come to feel lost and lonely and slightly rejected by God.  I continually pray "tell me what to do & I will obey".  Feeling extremely human - I get nothing.  {remember, I am the one who needs God to send me messages via billboards OR sticky notes on my forehead, so I can REALLY get it.}

I have found myself making my own decisions since God doesn't seem to be answering my prayers.  Feeling rejected...I have turned away from Him a little as well.  This leads to a whole other issue...maybe I am doing it my own way and choosing NOT to listen to Him.  I don't know at this point!  One word for you...LOST!

But I do know that I have grown weary of carrying this heavy burden.  Not feeling led by Him and doing it myself is exhausting.  I am giving up and slumping humbly in to the spiritual fetal position.  I can no longer do this on my own.  I am tired and I am done.  I am giving up these feelings of rejection and sadness that have come with transition.

***********************************


Today, my "Daily Hope" email from "A Devotional from the Purpose Driven Connection" by Rick Warren was this:

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" Habakkuk 2:3 (LB)

Even as you make a decision to follow the dream God places in your heart, you can expect a delay. God will not fulfill your dream immediately because this is another step toward building your faith. In Habakkuk 2, God says, "These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled." In this step of faith-building you will most likely start asking the question, "When, Lord?  When are you going to answer my prayer?" And we hate to wait. We don't like to wait in a doctor's office, or in traffic jams, or at restaurants, or for Christmas presents, or for anything else. But what we hate worst of all is waiting on God. Have you ever been in a hurry when God wasn't? It's so irritating! You're ready, but God isn't. God wants to work on you before he works on the project. Every believer must go through the University of Learning to Wait (ULW). Some of us are still working on our degrees from ULW! Noah waited 120 years from the time he started building the ark until it began to rain. Abraham was told he would be the father of a great nation and didn't have a child until he was ninety-nine. God told Moses he would be the leader to lead his people out of four hundred years of slavery, but then made him wait in the desert forty years.  Joseph spent years in prison before God raised him up and he became the ruler God wanted him to be.  God had David anointed as king, but then David waited for years until he actually got to be king.  We all have to go through these waiting periods. Even Jesus waited for thirty years in the carpenter's shop before setting out on his public ministry. Why do we wait? It teaches us to trust in God. We learn that his timing is perfect. One of the facts we have to learn is this: God's delay never destroys his purpose. A delay is not a denial. Children must learn the difference between "no" and "not yet," and so must we. Many times we think God is saying, "No," but he is saying, "Not yet."

***********************************


Ah, I see, I have let my grades slip a little at the University of Learning to Wait (ULW).  I need to study harder and become a better student.  


{hello, billboard!}


Dear God, I am so sorry for turning away from you and feeling rejected by your "not yet" response to my prayers.  I am sorry for not being patient and faithful.  Thank you God, for using your perfect timing to teach me to trust you more.  Thank you, for seeking different ways to speak to me and remind me of your presence in my life.  I promise to be open and ready when you reveal your plan for us.  


Oh, being patient will not be easy {obviously}, but I know now he hasn't rejected me or said "no".  He is simply saying "not yet".


I can wait.